Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Amazing Anagrams

The Incredibles

Tony Blair = Only a Brit
Hansie Cronje = A sincere John
A Telephone Girl = Repeating "Hello"
Debit card = Bad credit
Dame Agatha Christie = I am a death case, right?
Conversation = Voices rant on
Heavy rain = Hire a Navy
Statue of Liberty = Built to stay free
Stone Age = Stage One

Anagram Synonyms?

Animosity=Is No Amity
Dormitory=Dirty Room
Desperation=A Rope Ends It
Evangelist=Evil's Agent
The Morse Code=Here Come Dots
Slot Machines=Cash Lost in 'em
Mother-in-law=Woman Hitler
Punishment=Nine thumps
A Shoplifter=Has to pilfer
Snooze Alarms=Alas! No More Z's
Alec Guinness=Genuine Class
Semolina=Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries=Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point=I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes=That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two=Twelve plus one
Contradiction=Accord not in it
Astronomer=Moon Starer
Year Two Thousand=A Year To Shut Down

The Amazing

[From Hamlet by Shakespeare] To be or not to be; that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
=
In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

Politician Anagrams

George Bush=He bugs Gore
George Herbert Walker Bush=Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog
Leroy Newton Gingrich=Yon Right-winger Clone
Margaret Thatcher=That great charmer
Princess Diana=End Is A Car Spin
Ronald Wilson Reagan=A long-insane Warlord (or Insane Anglo warlord)
Ronald Reagan=A darn long era
The Conservative Party=Teacher in vast poverty

The Grand Finale

"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." - Neil A. Armstrong
=
A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

Friday, February 13, 2009

V

VoilĂ ! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Two reasons...

There are only 2 reasons when i'm lazy: When I have no incentive, and when I pretend to be pensive!

There are only 2 reasons when I lie: When i'm not contractually bound, and when i'm not morally sound!

There are only 2 reasons when i'm unreasonable: When people just be stupid, and when i'm struck by that fool cupid!

There are only 2 reasons when i'm angry: when I don't get my way, and when my mum-in-law comes to stay!

There are only two reasons when i'm rash: When i'm out to make some cash, and when I want to kick your ass!

There are only 2 reasons when I dont listen: When i'm thinking from my dick, and when you bore me bloody sick!